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It All Started With A 3600 Mile Bicycle Trek Across the USA

When I was 16, I took a one-way flight to Seattle and biked my way home through an adventure program for teens. I had spent the previous year training for the trip, raising money to pay for it, and convincing my parents to let me go.

For two months, I rode across the country with six other teenagers and two team leaders— both under 22. We had no cell phones, no support vehicle, and no Google Maps. We carried everything we needed on our bikes and slept on the ground in city parks, campgrounds, and sometimes in the backyards of people we had just met.

Each night, our team leaders sketched the next day’s route on a paper map. During the day we spread out as solo riders, sometimes biking more than 100 miles. Looking back, it’s a miracle I didn’t get lost— I never carried my own map and simply trusted that my team leaders would be waiting for me at the next turn in the road.

Over 3,600 miles, I pedaled through some of the most beautiful landscapes in America.

I also rode through pounding wind and rain, had a gun pulled on me while passing someone’s yard, nearly got run off the road by a logging truck, and woke up one night to two fugitives literally tripping over our tents as they fled from the police.

That journey taught me discipline, endurance, and something even more important: the confidence that I could do hard things.

It All Started With A 3600 Mile Bicycle Trek

When I was 16, I took a one-way flight to Seattle and biked my way home through an adventure program for teens. I had spent much of the previous year training for the trip, raising money to pay for it, and getting permission to go. 

I bicycled for two months alongside 6 teenagers and 2 team leaders, who were both under the age of 22. We had no cell phones, no support vehicle, and no google maps. We carried all our supplies, and slept on the ground in city parks, campgrounds, and in the backyards of people we had just met. Our team leaders would outline our daily route on a map the night before, and then we would spread out as solo riders during the day - sometimes biking over 100 miles. Looking back, it was a miracle I didn't get lost because I never carried my own map and trusted that someone would be waiting for me at the next turn in the road.

During that 3600 mile ride, I peddled through some of the most beautiful landscapes in America. 

I also muddled through miles of heavy wind and rain, had a gun pulled on me as I cycled past someone's yard, almost got mowed down by a logging truck, and even experienced two fugitives tripping over our tent in the middle of the night while they were fleeing from the police. 

This adventure helped me develop the discipline and stamina to do hard things, and also the confidence to do more of them.

A POSTCARD I WROTE AT 16

"Right now, we're in Williston, North Dakota. Yesterday we completed 117 miles! We had to make up for the horrendous headwinds. Ryan said that they were 30-40 miles per hour! When people talk about road rage, they don't know what they're talking about. I mean my knees felt like they were going to fall off! All I wanted to do was sit on the side of the road and cry. It was incredibly frustrating to bike and bike and never get any closer to the horizon. It took two hours to bike seven miles. This is a really tough trip! But I'm glad I'm doing it. I haven't showered in about a week. I'm dirty and scuzzy. My knees are swollen and sore. But when I'm through with this, I'll feel like I can do anything if I set my mind to it. Because I can! And I am!!"

Grit & Adventure Became My Way of Being in The World

After that 3600 mile bike trip, my adventurous spirit cracked open. From ages 16 to 18, I volunteered at a boys’ orphanage in a remote area of Brazil; learned to use a blow torch in the wind while building roofs on a Hopi mesa; and helped build houses in a migrant workers’ camp in Florida. In college, as an ecology student, I conducted underwater research in Mexico and Belize, and backpacked on glaciers in the Alaskan backcountry. I also traveled to one of the poorest areas of India to study Buddhism and experience the Kalachakra Initiation with HH the Dalai Lama.

#metoo

Little Did I Know That These Trips Were Emotional Defenses

One year before my bike trek, at the age of 15, I had my first #metoo experience. I was sexually assaulted and robbed in a group attack. I told no one. Since I didn't have the tools to process that experience at the time, my adventures became an important emotional defense against feeling that pain. Here are some other defenses people use when they're feeling overwhelmed:

Defenses Give You G.A.S.

GAS = Guilt, Anxiety & Shame

Defenses can be incredibly helpful for a while. They help us survive experiences that feel too overwhelming to process in the moment.But surviving isn't the same as thriving. The emotions we've pushed aside don't simply disappear. Our bodies continue working to numb the pain. Over time, that effort can create a different kind of pressure — one fueled by guilt, anxiety, and shame, or what I like to call, "G.A.S." Too much G.A.S. can cloud your emotional compass, making it harder to recognize your deeper feelings, trust your instincts, and respond to your own needs.

 

G.A.S. Makes You Blow Up!

I Imploded During Pandemic Isolation

During the pandemic, I found myself starting over in a small town in North Carolina, far away from my Connecticut roots.The adventures had stopped. The travel had stopped. And I was alone with my cat, grieving the unexpected deaths of several loved ones. In complete isolation, I was forced to sit with the emotions I had spent decades outrunning.

I FINALLY BEFRIENDED

The Feelings I Had Avoided:

This Helped Me Develop Activate Your Strength®

Activate Your Strength, LLC is a new company I started which helps adults build the self-awareness and emotion regulation skills needed to navigate life's challenges with greater confidence and care. Through illustrated journals and online programs, you'll learn practical tools for understanding your emotions, regulating your nervous system, and making empowered choices under stress.

VISIT SITE

This Helped Me Develop Activate Your Strength®

Activate Your Strength, LLC is a new company I started which helps adults build the self-awareness and emotion regulation skills needed to navigate life's challenges with greater confidence and care. Through illustrated journals and online programs, you'll learn practical tools for understanding your emotions, regulating your nervous system, and making empowered choices under stress.

VISIT SITE

A Glimmer Practice is What Made ALL the Difference

 A glimmer is the opposite of a trigger.

It's a micro-moment of gratitude or awe which sparks a sense of safety. A glimmer won’t erase your problems, but it’ll create a tiny moment of relief, which can sometimes make all the difference.

I'd Been Collecting Glimmers for Years Without Realizing It

Back in 2011, I began asking the public to share their gratitude with me on postcards. Within a month of launching this public art campaign, I had received so many postcards that the campaign  was featured on NPR… and within three years, so many people wanted to participate that I had incorporated the effort into a nonprofit called Look for the Good Project. Here's a video that was created back in 2013, before the nonprofit was established.

 

Glimmers Help You Access the Steady Part of Your Nervous System

My Glimmer Practice Gently Melted My Defenses

For years, thousands of people shared moments of gratitude with me through the Look for the Good Project. At the time, I thought I was only helping other people. I didn't realize that I was also training my own nervous system to notice signs of safety, beauty, hope, and connection.  

Over time, I discovered that healing isn't always dramatic. Sometimes it's simply the accumulation of thousands of small moments that slowly teach your mind, body, and heart that you are safe. Even though I'm not a therapist, and this isn't therapy, I'm someone who has spent a lifetime exploring what helps people heal and grow. I've done it through public art projects, educational programs, thousands of conversations with strangers, and my own journey through adversity. The ideas I share are rooted in both research and lived experience, and they've shaped not only my work, but the way I choose to live. Today, I share this story because I believe stronger communities begin with stronger relationships — and that begins with the relationship we have with ourselves.

If you're looking for a keynote speaker, a workshop facilitator, or a creative partner to help your organization build a more connected community, I'd be honored to help you!

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